How to get successful with women

Dating advice for young men

Warning/Disclaimer : This blog does not endorse/encourage  cheating anyone with mind tricks or cheap pickup slogans. This blog only helps men to understand the basic conditions for getting noticed by opposite sex and taking it on successfully in a way that the other person(women) does not feel cheated at any point of time. 

Purpose of this article

    The purpose of this article is to steer you away from lame "how to get laid"? posts. This is because the end game is never a simple process like they show in porn. Also there is no such thing as End game. Nature did not create any creature as stupid or weak. Each creature has it's own strengths and weaknesses. Porn teaches youth that sexual ejaculation inside a female vagina is the end game. For those who have experienced this in their life they will tell you this is not the end game, in fact the game never ends till you die.

via GIPHY

     The unfortunate situation in today's world is that for young men the only source of learning about female sexuality is primarily from movies or porn which are so far from reality, no wonder people do not get even basic success in life regarding this basic need. In real life it does not work so simple like that. But you need to trust nature that is inside you in getting successful. All your ancestors(dating back to the virus that existed 3500 million years ago) were successful in this, that's why you exist and is reading this article. This is the first realization that you need to get when trying to get a women for love or mutually agreeable relationship.   

The real problem with porn  

    The simplest explanation of problem with porn is that it fools your ancient genetic wiring. Right from the first virus that appeared on this planet 3500 million(350 crore) years ago you have a very powerful ally called nature inside you. From day 1 of your birth till your death bed you will have this potential inside you to find and mate with a partner. Those who create porn try to short circuit this wiring in your brain by making you watch novel porn(huge variety in short time) which is not real sex.  Food, sex, sleep and defending your health and life are primary natural instincts of every creature of nature.. 

Nature always tries to achieve this with optimal use of energy in life. 

Please read the above👆 highlighted sentence thrice and take a moment to reflect on it.

via GIPHY

Why porn is addictive?

    When the nature inside you have an option for novelty porn(new partners every few minutes or hours or with every click) then brain chooses this more powerfully over the social or biological  risks inherent in finding an actual sexual partner. This is called Coolidge effect. So every day(or night) your survival instinct in fooled into believing that you had sex with many novel partners. Novelty porn is like hitting jackpot every time you insert a coin into the slot machine.

.

via GIPHY

    So the post internet generations of humans have seen more naked bodies of women(via screen) and had sex(as per your brain, not real sex) with women with the hottest bodies ever and the most variety of women and women with whom the viewer(camera shots are made to look as if the viewer is penetrating the women). is supposed to be related in society in many ways(mother-in-law, step mom, sister, neighbor, etc etc...) than any creature that ever existed on planet earth....including humans before internet. While your brain is fooled on such a basic need the porn industry laughs it way to bank.

via GIPHY

Why people choose porn over real sex?(it is a huge list)

 

• It avoids the problem of having to overcome the false sense of shame that society or religious authorities puts on people trying to find potential mates.
  
• It avoids the complex time and energy consuming complex social navigation required to find and attract a women from among competition with other men in public.
  
• It avoids the need for courage to approach a women.
• It helps you avoids the complex emotional maturity required to handle rejection.
• It avoids the need to treat women like our fellow human beings. Thus eliminating the need to be respectful and kind to another human being.
• It allows you to treat women as a tissue paper(use and throw) and not as fellow human beings.
  
• It avoids the complex social navigation required to make the women feel safe and happy to be near you.
• It saves time and money.
• It saves the complex human relationship maneuvers to get a women to agree to consider you as a potential(she is just gauging you) mating or life partner.
• It avoids the social shame of being with someone you have not committed your life to.
• It allows you to cheat women with every click so easily. In real life this can have serious consequences.
  
• You need not go through the complex emotions of wooing a women. Thus saving a lot of heartburn.
  
• No need to spend time and money to entertain her or assure her that you are a fun person to be with.
• No need to go through the heart burn of getting friend zoned.
• Can avoid the real world human issues like jealousy from others, nagging each other, whining, emotional or physical torture to you or to her etc.    
• Avoid potential rape case against you in case you have a low self control. Thus permanently damaging your future potential for a good relationship or decent family life. 
• Avoid the complex social, emotional and biological navigation required to get a women to agree to mate with you.
• Avoid the need to be a healthy sexual partner(can have premature ejaculation, no need for lengthy foreplay, no stamina required, no need to work hard to give her pleasure)
• It allows people to treat their sexual partners not as human beings with the same needs(like pleasure, love, comfort, safety etc) but as use and throw items.
• It avoids the complex social and emotional navigation required to maintain the women as your partner for lifetime. 
• It avoids the fatal or non fatal consequences of cheating or being cheated by someone.   
• It avoids the need to defend and feed your offspring.
• Porn stars don't mind your erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. It can help you avoid the shame involved in real sex with these diseases.
• It avoids the need to be a fun person to be around.
  
• It avoids the risk of sexually transmitted diseases(only positive benefit of porn).
  

........and a million reasons more. 

It is really an uphill climb with danger of falling back with broken bones, but every time you fall you get better at this game of survival.

via GIPHY

Porn is an all in all good package if you are not looking for real sex or life partner.

    Just imagine how much energy brain and body will have to spend to overcome the odds for a successful mating in real life. Porn is super duper quick fix.

What happens when you choose porn every time?

     Brain is only a conduit for expression of your survival instinct. During daytime whatever brain learns about the world through your five sense it will register and polish it in the night during sleep to align with the basic instincts. It removes unnecessary connections and polishes the existing information to align with it's goals. The primary goal of survival is to reproduce fast and optimally with minimal loss of time(yes time) and energy. 

So now think.........

    What will your brain choose if you give an option?  Real sex or porn? Yes you guessed it correct. Your brain will choose porn because it is quick, safe, and easy to spread your genes to novelty partners, thus increasing your bloodlines in the least amount of time and energy. The brain will drag you towards your screen for porn. Well this is called addiction.

    The real problem is choice. Lack of choice will not confuse the brain this much. If there is a lack of choice your brain will be more resourceful. You will be more kind, gentle and caring to your existing partner. This does not mean being a push over. Give respect and take respect. Ignore people who abuse you emotionally. Women will respect and fall for men who are capable of being gentle and respectful as well as capable of maintaining their own dignity.

 

via GIPHY

    The purpose of porn sites is to inundate your brain with false choices so that finding real choice(don't forget uphill climb) will be like finding needle in hay sack. I am not saying that porn sites are deliberately doing this to you....but you are certainly doing this to yourself.

So what's your choice now? 

    After reading all the above advantages of porn in terms of time, money, mental and physical energy what do you think is better? Porn or real human relationship(yes it can involve sex)? If your choice is porn this blog post is a failure and you need not bother to read on. 

    Real world relationships(romantic and platonic) are really hard and millions of times(in fact billions or trillions of times) difficult than porn. And our society and religious leaders does not make it any easier. For a person who tries to shun porn for life will be brought back to the shed by their own brain. It is not a simple 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, 5 years or 10 years de-addiction period. You can go back to the same habit even after 10 years of de-addiction from porn We are really trying to outsmart the fundamental function of life(thus brain). Because if you are not procreating(not sex there is a subtle difference) nature will remove you from the competition for food source(don't be fooled by surplus foods in super markets). 

    When you are able to(your brain thinks so) get enormous amounts of novelty sexual partners with porn within a span of few hours, with least amount of energy and food why wait for years to polish your health, social skills, mating skills etc? After all the fundamental purpose of life on earth has been to survive till you procreate and then procreate as many as possible till some other creature of nature removes you from the competition or you die out.

Did you choose real relationships?

    Well your brain will hate you lifelong, the real addict is your brain not you.....understand the difference......It will give you sleepless nights, depression, feeling of being a failure in life......and many more complexes which will be much more impactful and powerful than drug de-addiction as unlike porn drugs do not operate your primary survival circuit. Once brain identifies a easy and economical way to procreate it will not understand why you are not going for it. This will create tremendous brain body disconnect.

Is there a way out of porn?

    Yes there is, but it is a long and winding road with multiple potholes at every moment and a superhighway with a high speed driver ready to take you back to point zero at any time. 

Hammer this point in sharply. Constant lifelong vigilance is the price of this freedom from porn. 

Simplest advice is to -

• Do it gradually(say if you are using porn daily for more than 4 hours try initially to reduce to 3 hours for 3 months.....then try 2 hours.....then try 1 hours.......try a minimum of 3 months gap between this).
• Always remember you are up against your own survival circuit so this is no less difficult than lifting mighty Himalayas.....failures are inherent. The important thing is to learn from failures and move on.
• Don't punish yourself too harsh if you break your own promises.
• You will get sleep issues, depression etc brace for it....get professional help......learn to see the paradox of life....opposites exist at the same time in nature in the same place.
• Divert your attention to creative and productive activities.
• Visit natural places and meditate on mother nature.
• Improve your health(both physical and mental).
• Get good sleep, 
• Accept the uncertainty of life. Because once you accept that uncertainity of life, you will understand the true fun of life....because nature will never bore you. Something will always happen. Some things will keep happening no matter what you want or what you do. So why worry and plan? You will learn to enjoy the spice of life and take life of it's own terms.     

Above all trust in mother nature........

Build your trust in mother nature

     Accept the fact that it was never your talent that brought you from the sulfur breathing bacteria 3.5 billion years ago in acidic pools on earth till you here reading this blog comfortably in your home. It was the miracle of evolution, meanwhile dodging multiple planet level extinction events and species level extinction events, hunger, famine, wars, inquisitions, climatic events, volcanic events and innumerable other challenges. 

 

    So this proves that it was never our talent that we are now sitting comfortably reading this blog in our safe house or office with security never before imagined in the history of human beings or any other species on planet earth into the free thinking society of 21st century. Nature brought us here, it will take us forward no matter what. The real problem is not opportunity but million times easier and safer choices in life. Will you go to a new place without google maps? Will you take the challenge of talking to strangers? Will you choose to bargain hard with a shopkeeper instead of buying online?  

 

How difficult is real life?

 

    Yes in real life you have to sell yourself, collaborate and cooperate with real people. You have to negotiate, you have to compromise, you have to sometimes fight for what you think is right, you have to understand leverage, you have to understand demand and supply, you have to accept life is full of risks no matter how you live, even with the latest advancement in technology they are just replacing old problems with new problems, you have to accept that frustration happens sometimes and it is normal, anger, jealousy, hatred, these are natural emotions which has nothing to do with evil or good fight.

Simple tips for being successful with opposite sex(yes this works for women too).  

• Maintain your physical and mental health by maintaining healthy sleep(sleep is also called beauty sleep for obvious reasons), diet and moderate exercise. 
• Be gentle with opposite sex, you are not going for a weight lifting or push up competition. Sex is a very subtle game.
  
• Maintain your dignity never run behind people who are not interested in you. This will elevate your self esteem and people will find you interesting.
• Remember you will lose your own confidence if you are not able to please a women in bed. This is why health and being gentle is necessary. 
• Also satisfying a women is not like pounding her like a gym sandbag.
• The slow and steady wins the race....Most erectile dysfunctions and premature ejaculations are due to performance anxiety, go with the flow and enjoy the same and make sure your partner also enjoys this act. Nobody is a fool. Some women can spot a premature ejaculator miles away.😂
• Don't creep out women. Think like a human being and don't do things to others that you don't want others to do to you.
• Be respectful and don't be conniving to others. Remember if you think others are fools then you are really the stupidest person on planet earth.
• Be a person that people in general like to be around.
• Have fun in your own life then only you can attract like minded people searching for fun people to be with.
• Don't be a snob when things get bad. Remember you have to sell yourself in real life. Rejection is imminent and ever present
  
• Remember you have to give something in life to get back something from life. Don't profile this as gold digging. 

The last tip is about biology

 

    Nature is all about balance. It will always brings things back to balance whether it is population of a species or climate of earth. So opposites exist in life for life to evolve. Unless there are opposing priorities there cannot be balance. Life cannot evolve without contradictory priorities acting at the same time in an balanced way at any given time. Cooperation and collaboration and both realities of life.  

    Men seems to be biologically wired to procreate as many blood lines as possible, but women seems to be wired biologically to protect and stabilize the blood lines(at least till they are able to fend by themselves). This is a fundamental difference anybody can clearly notice, hence the clear difference in priorities and choices in life. .    

Even if you disagree with my blog post or agree with it kindly share you valuable inputs via comments and share your valuable experiences with all the readers via the same comments platform. It will also encourage me to write useful articles like this. 

Adios Friends🙏